Porn addiction help: where to actually get it
You don't have to figure this out alone, and you don't have to wait until it's "bad enough". Here are the real options, from free tonight to professional help.
Is it a real problem?
The World Health Organization lists compulsive sexual behaviour disorder in ICD-11: a long pattern of failing to control strong sexual urges, causing real distress.[1] In a US national survey, about 1 in 10 men reported real distress from struggling to control sexual urges and behaviour.[2]
1. Talk to a therapist
A therapist who works with compulsive sexual behaviour can help with the habit and with what's underneath it (stress, loneliness, anxiety, shame).
- Psychology Today directory: search by city or online, and filter by issue ("sex addiction" or "compulsive sexual behaviour"). psychologytoday.com
- Certified sex addiction therapists (CSAT): a directory of therapists trained in this area. iitap.com
- Your doctor: a GP can refer you, and should be your first stop for erection problems or low mood.
2. Join a free support group
- Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA): free 12-step meetings, in person and online. saa-recovery.org
- Sexaholics Anonymous (SA): free 12-step meetings worldwide. sa.org
- SMART Recovery: free, science-based meetings (not 12-step) for any addictive behaviour. smartrecovery.org
- Celebrate Recovery: Christian recovery groups in many churches. celebraterecovery.com
3. If you're in crisis
If you feel hopeless or think about hurting yourself, talk to someone now. Free, confidential lines: US 988 (call or text), UK and Ireland Samaritans 116 123, Germany TelefonSeelsorge 0800 111 0 111. Anywhere else: findahelpline.com.
4. What you can do tonight
- Block it on your phone (free, 5 minutes): how to block porn on iPhone and Android.
- Have a plan for the urge: what to do when an urge hits.
- Tell one person you trust. Research shows guilt and shame about porn go with more distress, not less use. Beating yourself up does not help you stop.[3]
Apps like Quit90 help between sessions and meetings (a blocker, a panic button, a 90-day plan). They don't replace a therapist if you need one.
Questions
Where can I get help for porn addiction?
Start with a therapist (Psychology Today's directory lets you filter by issue, and IITAP lists certified sex addiction therapists), free support groups like Sex Addicts Anonymous, Sexaholics Anonymous or SMART Recovery, and your doctor. In a crisis, call 988 in the US, Samaritans 116 123 in the UK, or find a line at findahelpline.com.
Is there a free porn addiction support group?
Yes. Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA), Sexaholics Anonymous (SA) and SMART Recovery all run free meetings, in person and online. Celebrate Recovery runs Christian groups in many churches.
Is porn addiction a real diagnosis?
The WHO's ICD-11 includes compulsive sexual behaviour disorder: a persistent pattern of failing to control intense sexual urges, leading to repetitive behaviour and real distress or problems in life. Watching porn often is not a diagnosis on its own; losing control is the key sign.
Sources
- World Health Organization, ICD-11 code 6C72, Compulsive sexual behaviour disorder (in force since 2022). icd.who.int
- Dickenson JA et al. (2018). Prevalence of Distress Associated With Difficulty Controlling Sexual Urges, Feelings, and Behaviors in the United States. JAMA Network Open 1(7):e184468. jamanetwork.com
- Grubbs JB, Perry SL (2019). Moral Incongruence and Pornography Use: A Critical Review and Integration. Journal of Sex Research 56(1):29-37; Grubbs JB et al. (2019). Pornography problems due to moral incongruence. Archives of Sexual Behavior 48:397-415. link.springer.com